The BEST Advice for Creative Writing

So then some guy said, "If you let Titanic take you down with the suction just for a moment, you'll gain enough strength and wisdom to swim to the surface. Don't fight it."

"That's beautiful", said Jennifer Aniston. And she did exactly that. Making her way to the ocean's surface, she realized she'd been holding on to the giant, brand new, recently submerged placard with 'Titanic' engraved in it, using it as a flotation device. I was watching this all go down, literally, when I heard my iPhone ping from the bottom of the ocean. Oh. Shit. "I have to go down there and get it, Jen!" My eyes and mouth widen to take a breath big enough to, um, chase the Ti...ta...n....ic for an i....ph...oneeee. (Um. Okay.) And that's when a voice says, "Erica, you've gone off the deep end in this dream. Wake up...wake up...WAKE. UP."

My eyes open and for a moment. I'm bummed I'll never find my iPhone and then I realize where I am, and that my phone is in the living room. I hobble myself out of bed and over to the couch to grab the phone. The thing lights up like the 4th of July and it's a text from a friend that says, Hey Babe, If you could give me one piece of advice about writing creatively, what would it be? And if you need to follow it up with more, I'm all ears.

Perfect! What a perfect question! These are my favorite kinds of texts, b-t-dubs. (That's 'by the way' in 2016 lingo. Keep up). I answered the text right away, as 4 main tips for creative writing popped into my head without even thinking. And I want to share those tips with YOU! (+4 extra ones that add a much needed extra somethin' somethin' when I write.)

1. FOCUS ON THE STORY, NOT THE SENTENCE- Have you ever spent way too much time editing a photo on your phone, drafting a text or writing a story/blog post, like me? Great! Yea. On the one hand, it could be an act of great care and consideration for your intended audience, to find the perfect filter for IG, the perfect response to a text and the perfect descriptive words for a story. And yet, it's all a bunch of hooey if you're not first focused on what you're actually wanting people to hear. Be careful not to lose track of what the whole thing is about and intended to be used for in the first place. Typically, what we want to say takes a lot longer to draft than what we actually want someone to hear, because we're busy scrutinizing things that don't make a ding-dong-dang difference if the story is shit and doesn't go anywhere. Trust me, the sentences and big words and grand images will all fall into place (with room for grammar and spell check, of course) if you keep your focus on Who-What-Where-When-Why-How, first.

2. WRITE WHAT MATTERS TO YOU IN THE MOMENT- Guys, I can't even tell you how fast I'm flying through this blog post. This topic matters to me all the time, but right now, in this moment, it is SO fresh in my mind because the text from my friend was my "call to action". If you've ever met me, even for 30 seconds when I sampled your cheese at the deli counter at Whole Foods, you'd know I have a lot of feelings about a lot of things all the time. But when it comes to writing, when I'm truly moved, I MUST take action. And so must you. You're a writer. You're always going to write, no matter what...but when you feel particularly inspired, take advantage of that in the moment (even if you have to pull over into the parking lot of a random high school, and write a poem that was exploding out of you...do it!)

3. TAKE NOTES ALL. THE. TIME.- This one complements the above tip. If you cannot sit down and complete a piece in the moment, THAT'S FINE! Keep a notebook and a pen handy (i.e. an iPhone with a Notes section) and write down the image, word, phrase, etc. as it pops into your head. DO NOT assume you will remember it later. YOU WON'T. Write it down. AND THEN put the whole thing together ASAP, as the idea, feeling, inspiration is fresh in your mind.

4. SHOW. DON'T TELL.- Boy, I tell ya, nothing sucks the essence right out of a story faster than reading a long-winded pile of nothingness because the author was trying to describe an event, but actually ended up explaining it. For example, if you're a writer, and you're story-ing (my made up verb) about a cold day, don't tell me that you're cold, show me 'cold'; blue, shaky, desperate, icy, longing, not cared for, not looked after, hopeless...etc. I always have to remind myself to give my readers more credit; it's a scientific fact that what we don't see, we will make up and what our mind isn't shown, it will fill in the blanks. This makes for an incredible reading experience; allowing our audience to fill in some blanks, to step into our shoes, with room to wiggle around and find themselves in our words. It's a gift we give to our audience.

**Some Extra Personal Touches that Make Me a Better Creative Writer**

1. OILS- Duh. If you thought I wasn't gonna list essential oils as a way I enhance my creativity and overall being as a writer and human, you don't know me at all, and we should see a counselor. Here are the 3 main oils I use when I sit down to write:

* Focus Blend: This includes Patchouli, Sandalwood, Frankincense, Lime, Ylang Ylang and Roman Chamomile. All intended to keep me focused and engaged so I don't OH! SHINY PENNY!

*Clary Sage: The Oil of Clarity and Vision. I rub a drop of this oil over my chest and a drop between my eyebrows (seat of intuition/6th Chakra) for more clarity...and...vision. Yea.

*Wild Orange: The Oil of Abundance. This oil is associated with the 2nd Chakra, which governs creative energy, pleasure and enjoyment. (All necessities in my writing and thriving process)

*Because of FDA rules and blah blah blah, I can't tell you the brand of oils I use and trust, but if you want to learn more, let me know by COMMENTING BELOW. ;-)

2. BRUSHED TEETH: Morning is usually my peak time to write and I refuse to create anything unless my mouth feels clean. A clean mouth makes a clean voice makes a clean writing piece. Trust me.

3. MY GLASSES: Because I can't see without them and they are amazing.

WELP! That's what I have for you today, my creatives! Also, if you see Jennifer Aniston, tell her I found my phone.

Happy Writing!

Wholeheartedly,

Erica

PS: If you're curious about the process of Creative Writing JOIN MY 5-DAY COURSE! (Next round starts July 25!)

Hummingbird: A Letter to my Dad

Dear Dad,

I've started at least ninety letters to you, in the nine years you've been gone; each letter deeper and different than the last. Each letter never complete. I'm ready to finish this time, Dad. This is the one. With my words, I'd like to take you by the hand as we look out over the landscape of my thoughts and the layout of my life. I am speaking to you with an open heart, I hope you can hear me with an open soul, wherever you are...

Dad, when you died, I was certain I'd never forgive you for leaving me. I was certain you were angry with me, that I was bad, that you faked your own death just to get away from me. I was certain I wouldn't remember the way I used to look at you when I was a little girl. I was certain I'd never be able to forget how hard it was to be your Daughter the last 5 years of your life. How your deteriorating health and your broken spirit was too much for me and I didn't know what to do. I didn't recognize you. After you died, I was certain I'd close my eyes and only see your sad, lost, hopeless, lonely brown eyes. I tried not to think about you for a while.

Dad, I now realize none of those certainties could possibly be true, because even and especially in your absence, you take such good care of me. You keep giving me the freedom and the room and the time and the resources and the compassion and the courage and the love to become who I am meant to be. My life has looked like anything but the single, straight, direct line of purpose I thought it ought to be.

Dad, you've given me the most wild opportunity to become a Hummingbird; free to move from tree to tree, flower to flower, field to field, trying this, trying that. I bring an idea from here to over there, where I learn something else, leave it in the night and take to something different. I am an acrobatic flyer, Dad. I can go backwards and upside down and I can change direction. I've created an incredibly rich and complex Hummingbird existence for myself, Dad. You'd be so proud.

Dad, my Hummingbird tattoo reminds me of some things- it reminds me that sometimes dying is the answer; sometimes people have to leave, to make space for something else that otherwise wouldn't be there. Sometimes death brings us back to life, grief paves the way to joy, pain helps us know comfort when we see it, fear helps us know love when we feel it. This hummingbird tattoo, much like my grief, was the most beautiful, uncomfortable, and worrisome open wound I could imagine. Over time, it has healed. Daddy, I have healed. 

Dad, my Hummingbird helps me remember you; your small, soft hands with the scar on your palm from when you were ten and foolish. The hands that used to gently brush and blow dry my hair when I was little. The hands that held the giant, whiny video camera in the front row of every talent show. And the hands that held up a box of tampons in the store and shouted, "Price Check!" and I'd hide my face with my hands and want to die.

My tattoo helps me remember the sound of your voice; the voice that told me wild and made-up stories of far away places, (like Woodstock). The voice that taught me about the laws of buoyancy, the voice that did an amazing "Ursula", when we'd reenact The Little Mermaid in under 30 seconds. Don't pretend you don't remember.

My Hummingbird reminds me of that time you picked my up from school and I was crying and I said I have no friends and you sat next to me on the wooden, splintered bench and you looked at my eyes and you said, I your friend.

 My tattoo makes me remember how wonderful but scary and dangerous it is to be the absolute and the one and only in someone's life, like I was for you.

Dad, this Hummingbird lets me forgive you, for all the times you were frustrated and impatient and unkind and the times you harshly tested my love for you and the times you made me doubt your love for me.

Mostly, Dad, my Hummingbird makes me promise that

where I am selfish, I'm gonna be giving.

And where I am fearful, I'm gonna be brave.

And where I am wrong, I'm gonna be right.

And where I am dark, I'm gonna be light.

When I look at my arm, I can know that

yesterday I was weak, and today I'm gonna be strong. 

Yesterday I was weak, and today I'm gonna be strong. 

Yesterday I was weak, and today I'm gonna be strong.

Lastly, my beautiful, colorful, incredibly permanent, watercolor Hummingbird tattoo urges me to be in relationship with the ages, in honor of my ancestors and in service to my descendants.

Dad. Thank you. Thank you for giving me the most beautiful wings to become the Hummingbird I am meant to be. Thank you for leaving me in physical ways and for staying in soulful ones. I love you and I feel you and I honor you more and more, every day.

All my love, for all my life, with my whole heart, forever and ever and ever...

-Erica

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Dear Business Coach...

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A few posts back, I mentioned that I've thrown away all of my old journals. Not only were they totally irrelevant and unnecessary to hold onto, I could never get through one page of one journal without turning to my imaginary friend, opening my mouth and my eyes wide wide, as if t say "Oh.... MyGod. What a loser!" But that's not to say there is no value in revisiting words, videos or photos that represent who and where we were at a point in time; I just didn't need twelve books all written in the penmanship of a retired Pharmacist, explaining how shitty my upper-middle class teen-aged life was. I mean...right?!

But as I sifted through some old emails today, I came across one that I wrote to a Business Coach I hired almost exactly one year ago. My relationship with her came to an end shortly after I wrote this, but maybe the point of hiring her was to have a reason to get all this out. And that's what I did.

I'm sharing this email with you for a few reasons:

 1) I share everything else with you, so why not this?

2) Even "Coaches" and creative entrepreneurs (like me) don't know what the hell they're doing with their life, sometimes.

3) I'm not the only relatively neurotic human being who's had these thoughts and feelings.

4) I'm no longer in the same place I was when I wrote this email and I thought I always would be.

This Coach's name is irrelevant so for the purposes of this post, I'll call her

"Business Coach."

Without further ado...Happy Spinning!

spinning

January 4th, 2015

Subject: "Spinning"

"Happy New Year, *Business Coach! I hope 2015 is finding you well.

I'm emailing because I'm spinning today. I feel so anxious and scared about my future and I don't know how to navigate any tools to put things into perspective.

I've always been able to see a big picture that I deem to be my destiny or an ultimate dream of mine, but I am impatient when it comes to taking the necessary steps to get there.

Blah blah blah. I could go on typing, trying to over think things and express myself in  practical, self-loving, compassionate, forward thinking words. But I feel more compelled to list the cycle of thoughts that occupy my mind and my body 24 hours a day, leaving no room for anyone or any thing. So, here goes..

I'm 28 years-old and have not been able to financially support myself, despite all my education, experience, talents, willingness and ability to work hard.

I love working with children and I'm good at it. I love my title as Director at My Gym, and I'm frustrated I am accepting only $18,000/year.

I feel guilty about believing I am worth more, since there's so much hype about wanting money as an American is a bad thing. And how greedy we are as a culture. I feel like I need to prove to the world I'm not trying to earn millions, I'm just trying to pay rent.

I'm an excellent writer and public speaker. I have always articulated my thoughts with sincerity and clarity. Not everyone can do this and I wonder how I can put this skill to good use and/or profit from it.

I may be sensitive as a person, but I am also tough. I'm fearless in many ways and terrified in others.

I'm terrified I won't ever be in a loving relationship.

I'm terrified I won't ever have children.

I'm terrified we've done so much damage to the human psyche that Coaches, Counselors, Therapists and Social Workers who want to help, will always be spinning their wheels.

I will fearlessly check behind every door, in every closet and under the bed for someone hiding, waiting to kill me. But I am too fearful of getting my heart broken or being a failure in business or relationships, so I avoid them.

By default, I am always on Craigslist, looking for jobs, to feel safe. But I don't want to just work for a paycheck for the rest of my life. At least at My Gym, I'm making a difference and get to be active. No, I'm not getting paid what I'm worth, or enough to live, but at least I don't feel like a drone. The next tab I open, right after Craiglist, is PadMapper.com or any other apartment website, looking for a place with cheaper rent. I pay $1450, which some days seems like a lot and other days seem reasonable, considering any other apartment or studio in the South Bay will only save me, at most, $200, to which I think I could just become a prostitute for an extra $200/month and BOOM, there's me making up the rest of my "outrageous" rent.

*Business Coach, I'm so scared. During our first conversation you mentioned that our country comes from a state of scarcity, thus that's why our country is poor. So, like, all I have to do is keep 'coming from a place of abundance'? What the hell does that even mean? And as a side note, I don't want to do only ONE job. I have lots of things I'm good at and want to work toward. I wouldn't even want to be a writer full-time. Full time equals "fast burnout" to me. But that makes me sound like a spoiled little child, because I don't want to saturate all my time in just ONE thing. Who the hell am I to think I have a choice?

I think I've covered just about everything that has me curled up on my couch in fetal position today. I don't know what I need from you as far as a response. If I were brutally honest and had my wish, I would want to hear

 "You're going to be more than okay, Erica. I understand everything you're saying and most people who are about to go through a huge breakthrough feel this way. I've seen it. I've given you a boost with my hand to get you to the very top of the fence, where you now have 1 leg on each side. This is the hardest part and I promise you're doing the right thing by going over to the other side. You don't need to move out of your apartment. That is your home and you have every right to stay."

Part of me wants to hear this from you, just because I'm investing a lot of money into working with you. But I know I need to be saying these things to myself.

I feel so alone in the world and I feel like I'm spinning, failing AND flailing, left and right...which always causes me to binge eat. And that opens a WHOLE other can of worms.

Thank you for taking the time to read my sincerest feelings. If you don't mind, I'd love to hear any thoughts you have.

Love,

Erica"

So, friends...please know that the way we feel about our jobs, our family, our relationships and the direction of our life is never permanent. Sometimes we're certain, sometimes we're not. Sometimes we're lost, sometimes we're found. Sometimes it takes a cup of tea and essential oils to bring us back down to earth. And sometimes dinners with friends and a very dirty martini, or three, helps smooth out the rough edges and harsh thoughts. It's okay. You're okay.

So much love to you, wherever you are on your path to wherever the heck you wanna go!

And as always, feel free to tall me where you are on your journey. Have you ever had these thoughts? Am I alone, here?

xo,

http___signatures.mylivesignature.com_54493_178_4A64499E2FC34D4923809CAE67892E32

*photos via

Life-Changing Magic: Part One

If "I've always been tidy" means, "I've been shoving things under the bed, into the closet, behind the dresser, between the book shelves, into a trash can and, just, on the floor since I was a little girl", then yes, I've been a very tidy person my whole life. I have my Dad to thank for this. From the time I was five, he'd give me thirty minutes to clean my room in exchange for a "special prize"; (usually that prize was lunch at a sushi buffet and that's a WHOLE other blog post for another day.) But I'd pride myself on my amazing ability to jam everything I own into tight spaces, giving the illusion my space is well-kept.

At the thirty-minute mark, my Dad would tap into his "Camp Counselor" alter-ego, knock on my door and shout, "BUNK INSPECTION!", at which point I'd take him by the hand and give a "tour" of my room, showcasing how spruce and organized I had made everything. I'd "escort" him over to my dresser, saying, "and here we have a VCR and television set, resting comforbly (comfortably) on it's shelf."  But when he got to my closet, just as he was about to open it, I would say, "I'm still working on that, Daddy. It's not ready yet. He let go of the knob and chuckled, knowing the contents of my entire room was behind that door. Nevertheless, he congratulated me on a cleaning job well done and off to the buffet we went. And THAT is my basic blueprint for tidying up...

A couple of weeks ago my BFF, Hailey, told me to read a book called, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo. Since it has been Hailey's job in our friendship for the last twenty-two years to read, seek and search the best ways of being good at life, I bought the book on Audible right away.

The book provides detailed guidance for determining which items in your house “spark joy”, and which don’t. The author believes in "tidying" once and for all, not once in a while, or in pieces. The system is pretty cut and dry, written specifically for people like me; people who are attached to possessions, no matter what they are, because they contain memories and carry my story, (even if they spend their precious life under my bed or wedged between the fridge and the bookshelf, collecting bugs and dust. They're still sacred, okay?)

Now, to be fair, I haven't listened to the whole book, as I accidentally napped through the important parts. But judging from what I have "read", perhaps it should really be called, Clean Your House Once and for All by Tearing Your Life House Apart and Shoving Everything You Thought Mattered to You and Ought to be Kept into Hefty Garbage Bags and Drop Them off at GoodWill Like Nothing Ever Happened. I don't feel that way entirely, but a little. And I've found myself in mini debates with Hailey over it. My feeling is: how can you legitimately ask your readers, followers and customers to just do away with things that matter to them, all in one swoop? That's like asking a binge eater to just stop binge eating, or worse, just stop buying food. Maybe that's a bit dramatic but as a mostly-recovered binge eater, it's not.

Speaking of disordered eating, some people who've read this book and adhered to the system have reported actual weight loss (or at least a big bought of diarrhea, which is almost just as good.) And as an Eating Psychology Counselor, who studies the ways in which food and weight issues often have very little to do with food, I'm curious about this; can getting rid of my physical stuff help me feel physically lighter? (That was a total Carrie Bradshaw-type question. WOW. I AM a writer!)

Anyway...

The truth is, despite my Dad's desire for me to have a tidy room in our tidy-looking house, I didn't realize just how messy and untidy his life was until it was over. When he died, it was up to me to decide what got kept and what got tossed, what "sparked joy" and what had left me (and probably him) feeling empty and helpless and sad. My Dad had kept everything; Velcro shoes from the 80's, golf clubs from the 70's, papers and documents from the 60's. He kept receipts and old apartment rental agreements. He kept his divorce papers and the teeth I lost as a child. My Dad made photocopies of every letter he ever sent to someone and saved every letter and card he ever received. I think my Dad spent the majority of his adult life trying to hold on to joy that had long since passed. And I know I do the same.

---

So what's my point? Why should you care? What do I really want you--my friend, my reader, my confidant-- to hear from this post?

I want you to hear that I'm gonna try this thing, this only keep things in my possession that 'spark joy' thing. I want you to hear that this is hard, out-of-character and scary for me and I'm going to do it anyway and maybe you wanna do it, too? Maybe you're looking to clear out your space, your life, your world? Maybe you wanna do it but not alone? Maybe you want to find a way to do it that works for YOU and not *exactly* as written in the book? I dunno. I just like you. I wanna help.

As you know, I'm not at all a "How-To" blogger, but I'm documenting my experience with this method so at the very least, it might be entertaining.

Over five million copies of The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up have been sold, which means at least five million people are ready to make a change for the better, or they're ready for their neighbor or neice to. Five million people are more willing to consider that the things, the trinkets, the clothes, the pictures, the books and the Tupperware they would never dream of discarding are, in fact, what's keeping them from living their best life, in and out of their best home. Five million people are being nudged to take things out of the closet and drawers, out from behind the couch, away from the outdoor shed, (if not the entire shed) quickly evaluated and then tossed away. As much as I've resisted, I'm ready to do the same.

Over the next 3-4 posts, I'll be walking you through my experience of throwing my current life non-joy-sparking stuff away. Lord knows I'm gonna need a lot of decent tunes, energy drinks and drugs Essential Oils to get me through this process and I'll keep you in the loop of what those are, since I'm into that stuff.

I mean, I do like things that are life-changing...and I also like magic...so what's the harm in learning to love tidying up? If the least tidy, most nostalgic, deeply sentimental and super-attached-to-her-stuff girl can do this, maybe you can, too.

Want to?

Photo Credit: Tidying Up Pic

I AM: Part One

Dear friends, Here's the thing-- for the last eighteen months, I've been doing all the work on this blog. I'm not complaining! Believe me, allowing my heart and soul to explode out of my fingertips, onto my screen and into your retina is a blessing. Like, pressing PUBLISH is one of my favorite things ever. In the interest of fun and always being willing to try new things, sometimes, kinda, normally not-so-much, however, I've decided to break up the routine of writing at you and take an opportunity to write with you. TOGETHERNESS! FUN! RIGHT?! YEAH!

Okay so, here's what we're doing this week; I have written a poem entitled, "I Am". I'm going to post my completed work below as an example. I challenge you fill in your own blanks, starting each line with "I Am" and follow these simple steps:

1) Copy & Paste template (list) into a word doc or into the NOTES on your phone

2) Complete your own "I Am" poem--you may add adjectives if you wish, but keep each line just to a short sentence

Add a pic of yourself, draw a picture, whatever!

3) Email it to me (if you'd like--I'd LOVE to read them!!) * EJacobsCoach@gmail.com

4) Read it aloud to yourself, your house plant, husband, wife, dog, Yoga Teacher, each day for the rest of the week

Next week, we will do Part Two of this exercise! It's a good one ;-)

HAPPY WRITING!

"I am" by, Erica Jacobs

I am Ruby red like Dorothy’s slippers

I am a big circle

I am a headstand

I am a round of applause

I am an elephant

I am three

I am Hard Sun, by Eddie Vedder

I am a cherished vintage VW bus; impossible to forget

I am a Boyfriend Pillow

I am sushi

I am a microphone

I am a day at the circus

I am earth

I am an Evergreen; constant and fun to decorate

**YOUR TURN**

 "I am" by,

What Color

What Shape

What Movement

What Sound

What Animal

What Number

What Song

What Car

What Piece of Furniture

What Food

What Musical Instrument

What Place

What Element in Nature

What Kind of Tree

*Can't wait to see what you write for yourself*