The BEST Advice for Creative Writing

So then some guy said, "If you let Titanic take you down with the suction just for a moment, you'll gain enough strength and wisdom to swim to the surface. Don't fight it."

"That's beautiful", said Jennifer Aniston. And she did exactly that. Making her way to the ocean's surface, she realized she'd been holding on to the giant, brand new, recently submerged placard with 'Titanic' engraved in it, using it as a flotation device. I was watching this all go down, literally, when I heard my iPhone ping from the bottom of the ocean. Oh. Shit. "I have to go down there and get it, Jen!" My eyes and mouth widen to take a breath big enough to, um, chase the Ti...ta...n....ic for an i....ph...oneeee. (Um. Okay.) And that's when a voice says, "Erica, you've gone off the deep end in this dream. Wake up...wake up...WAKE. UP."

My eyes open and for a moment. I'm bummed I'll never find my iPhone and then I realize where I am, and that my phone is in the living room. I hobble myself out of bed and over to the couch to grab the phone. The thing lights up like the 4th of July and it's a text from a friend that says, Hey Babe, If you could give me one piece of advice about writing creatively, what would it be? And if you need to follow it up with more, I'm all ears.

Perfect! What a perfect question! These are my favorite kinds of texts, b-t-dubs. (That's 'by the way' in 2016 lingo. Keep up). I answered the text right away, as 4 main tips for creative writing popped into my head without even thinking. And I want to share those tips with YOU! (+4 extra ones that add a much needed extra somethin' somethin' when I write.)

1. FOCUS ON THE STORY, NOT THE SENTENCE- Have you ever spent way too much time editing a photo on your phone, drafting a text or writing a story/blog post, like me? Great! Yea. On the one hand, it could be an act of great care and consideration for your intended audience, to find the perfect filter for IG, the perfect response to a text and the perfect descriptive words for a story. And yet, it's all a bunch of hooey if you're not first focused on what you're actually wanting people to hear. Be careful not to lose track of what the whole thing is about and intended to be used for in the first place. Typically, what we want to say takes a lot longer to draft than what we actually want someone to hear, because we're busy scrutinizing things that don't make a ding-dong-dang difference if the story is shit and doesn't go anywhere. Trust me, the sentences and big words and grand images will all fall into place (with room for grammar and spell check, of course) if you keep your focus on Who-What-Where-When-Why-How, first.

2. WRITE WHAT MATTERS TO YOU IN THE MOMENT- Guys, I can't even tell you how fast I'm flying through this blog post. This topic matters to me all the time, but right now, in this moment, it is SO fresh in my mind because the text from my friend was my "call to action". If you've ever met me, even for 30 seconds when I sampled your cheese at the deli counter at Whole Foods, you'd know I have a lot of feelings about a lot of things all the time. But when it comes to writing, when I'm truly moved, I MUST take action. And so must you. You're a writer. You're always going to write, no matter what...but when you feel particularly inspired, take advantage of that in the moment (even if you have to pull over into the parking lot of a random high school, and write a poem that was exploding out of you...do it!)

3. TAKE NOTES ALL. THE. TIME.- This one complements the above tip. If you cannot sit down and complete a piece in the moment, THAT'S FINE! Keep a notebook and a pen handy (i.e. an iPhone with a Notes section) and write down the image, word, phrase, etc. as it pops into your head. DO NOT assume you will remember it later. YOU WON'T. Write it down. AND THEN put the whole thing together ASAP, as the idea, feeling, inspiration is fresh in your mind.

4. SHOW. DON'T TELL.- Boy, I tell ya, nothing sucks the essence right out of a story faster than reading a long-winded pile of nothingness because the author was trying to describe an event, but actually ended up explaining it. For example, if you're a writer, and you're story-ing (my made up verb) about a cold day, don't tell me that you're cold, show me 'cold'; blue, shaky, desperate, icy, longing, not cared for, not looked after, hopeless...etc. I always have to remind myself to give my readers more credit; it's a scientific fact that what we don't see, we will make up and what our mind isn't shown, it will fill in the blanks. This makes for an incredible reading experience; allowing our audience to fill in some blanks, to step into our shoes, with room to wiggle around and find themselves in our words. It's a gift we give to our audience.

**Some Extra Personal Touches that Make Me a Better Creative Writer**

1. OILS- Duh. If you thought I wasn't gonna list essential oils as a way I enhance my creativity and overall being as a writer and human, you don't know me at all, and we should see a counselor. Here are the 3 main oils I use when I sit down to write:

* Focus Blend: This includes Patchouli, Sandalwood, Frankincense, Lime, Ylang Ylang and Roman Chamomile. All intended to keep me focused and engaged so I don't OH! SHINY PENNY!

*Clary Sage: The Oil of Clarity and Vision. I rub a drop of this oil over my chest and a drop between my eyebrows (seat of intuition/6th Chakra) for more clarity...and...vision. Yea.

*Wild Orange: The Oil of Abundance. This oil is associated with the 2nd Chakra, which governs creative energy, pleasure and enjoyment. (All necessities in my writing and thriving process)

*Because of FDA rules and blah blah blah, I can't tell you the brand of oils I use and trust, but if you want to learn more, let me know by COMMENTING BELOW. ;-)

2. BRUSHED TEETH: Morning is usually my peak time to write and I refuse to create anything unless my mouth feels clean. A clean mouth makes a clean voice makes a clean writing piece. Trust me.

3. MY GLASSES: Because I can't see without them and they are amazing.

WELP! That's what I have for you today, my creatives! Also, if you see Jennifer Aniston, tell her I found my phone.

Happy Writing!

Wholeheartedly,

Erica

PS: If you're curious about the process of Creative Writing JOIN MY 5-DAY COURSE! (Next round starts July 25!)

Hummingbird: A Letter to my Dad

Dear Dad,

I've started at least ninety letters to you, in the nine years you've been gone; each letter deeper and different than the last. Each letter never complete. I'm ready to finish this time, Dad. This is the one. With my words, I'd like to take you by the hand as we look out over the landscape of my thoughts and the layout of my life. I am speaking to you with an open heart, I hope you can hear me with an open soul, wherever you are...

Dad, when you died, I was certain I'd never forgive you for leaving me. I was certain you were angry with me, that I was bad, that you faked your own death just to get away from me. I was certain I wouldn't remember the way I used to look at you when I was a little girl. I was certain I'd never be able to forget how hard it was to be your Daughter the last 5 years of your life. How your deteriorating health and your broken spirit was too much for me and I didn't know what to do. I didn't recognize you. After you died, I was certain I'd close my eyes and only see your sad, lost, hopeless, lonely brown eyes. I tried not to think about you for a while.

Dad, I now realize none of those certainties could possibly be true, because even and especially in your absence, you take such good care of me. You keep giving me the freedom and the room and the time and the resources and the compassion and the courage and the love to become who I am meant to be. My life has looked like anything but the single, straight, direct line of purpose I thought it ought to be.

Dad, you've given me the most wild opportunity to become a Hummingbird; free to move from tree to tree, flower to flower, field to field, trying this, trying that. I bring an idea from here to over there, where I learn something else, leave it in the night and take to something different. I am an acrobatic flyer, Dad. I can go backwards and upside down and I can change direction. I've created an incredibly rich and complex Hummingbird existence for myself, Dad. You'd be so proud.

Dad, my Hummingbird tattoo reminds me of some things- it reminds me that sometimes dying is the answer; sometimes people have to leave, to make space for something else that otherwise wouldn't be there. Sometimes death brings us back to life, grief paves the way to joy, pain helps us know comfort when we see it, fear helps us know love when we feel it. This hummingbird tattoo, much like my grief, was the most beautiful, uncomfortable, and worrisome open wound I could imagine. Over time, it has healed. Daddy, I have healed. 

Dad, my Hummingbird helps me remember you; your small, soft hands with the scar on your palm from when you were ten and foolish. The hands that used to gently brush and blow dry my hair when I was little. The hands that held the giant, whiny video camera in the front row of every talent show. And the hands that held up a box of tampons in the store and shouted, "Price Check!" and I'd hide my face with my hands and want to die.

My tattoo helps me remember the sound of your voice; the voice that told me wild and made-up stories of far away places, (like Woodstock). The voice that taught me about the laws of buoyancy, the voice that did an amazing "Ursula", when we'd reenact The Little Mermaid in under 30 seconds. Don't pretend you don't remember.

My Hummingbird reminds me of that time you picked my up from school and I was crying and I said I have no friends and you sat next to me on the wooden, splintered bench and you looked at my eyes and you said, I your friend.

 My tattoo makes me remember how wonderful but scary and dangerous it is to be the absolute and the one and only in someone's life, like I was for you.

Dad, this Hummingbird lets me forgive you, for all the times you were frustrated and impatient and unkind and the times you harshly tested my love for you and the times you made me doubt your love for me.

Mostly, Dad, my Hummingbird makes me promise that

where I am selfish, I'm gonna be giving.

And where I am fearful, I'm gonna be brave.

And where I am wrong, I'm gonna be right.

And where I am dark, I'm gonna be light.

When I look at my arm, I can know that

yesterday I was weak, and today I'm gonna be strong. 

Yesterday I was weak, and today I'm gonna be strong. 

Yesterday I was weak, and today I'm gonna be strong.

Lastly, my beautiful, colorful, incredibly permanent, watercolor Hummingbird tattoo urges me to be in relationship with the ages, in honor of my ancestors and in service to my descendants.

Dad. Thank you. Thank you for giving me the most beautiful wings to become the Hummingbird I am meant to be. Thank you for leaving me in physical ways and for staying in soulful ones. I love you and I feel you and I honor you more and more, every day.

All my love, for all my life, with my whole heart, forever and ever and ever...

-Erica

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When Sushi Taught Me About Trust

All these thoughts came back to me as I sat, pretending to listen to and engage with my friend, which was almost impossible. By the time they brought out the second small plate to me, my mind was so lost in the loud argument of: "will this satisfy me? How much more food are they going to bring me? When will they bring it? What if by the end, it's not enough. What if I want more? What if...what if after all this time, all this healing, all this work, I still have an eating disorder...?"

On a normal, no-particular day in August, a friend took me to SugarFish— a trendy sushi restaurant in Marina del Rey. And by trendy I mean it took 45 minutes to be seated, at lunch. By trendy, I mean the place is the size of an airplane —like a Southwest airplane. Not a Delta one. By trendy, I mean the walls are grey, with nothing hung on them, and everyone, including the homeless guy outside by the fountain, looks so chic. Finally, after chit-chatting about sunglass cases and iPhones, AND how we can solve world hunger, we were finally seated and handed menus.

I should remind you that sushi is my favorite food. I could eat it everyday and I pretty much do. Also, sushi was my go-to food when I was a binge eater. For years, I'd go to Whole Foods, Sushi Boy, Hop-Sing's Good Time Sushi (that's not a real place, but you get the idea) and buy a lot of whatever I wanted, take it home and go to town. It would have been easier on my wallet if fast food was my thing. Just saying.

I hardly looked at the menu before my friend told me I should order a dish called, "Trust Me." I assumed it meant they'd bring me a meal the chef recommended or concocted in the kitchen, which excited me, because some days, the less thought I have to put into what I want to eat or food itself, the more sane and better off I am. I ordered the "Trust Me", and a few minutes later, the waiter brought us a small plate with two pieces of sushi on it and almost immediately, I began to panic. I realized this particular meal was designed to be eaten carefully and slowly, meant to be enjoyed with focus and appreciation, and intended to give me, and recovering binge eaters everywhere, a complete nervous breakdown.

I'm not a slow eater. Never have been. And in my line of work, the first thing I ask my client is: Are you a slow eater? Fast eater? Moderate eater? The idea being to bring the body back to homeostasis and free from a stress response, caused by eating too fast, judging the food you're eating, etc. I'd say this has been the hardest part of ED recovery, for me; eating slowly, with pleasure and awareness of all the things in and around me. For so many years, my story had been I am not to be trusted with or around food. I don't trust my body to digest food or burn it off without a pill or supplement of some kind This food must be hidden from me. And If I am to eat this food, I am to hide as I eat it.

The good news is I've gotten so much better about speaking up in my life. I told my friend I couldn't focus on our conversation. I told her this is a new and nerve-wracking experience for me and I need to talk about that instead of anything else. She was happy to do this. I told her how anxious I felt, not knowing when my next bite would come, and how many bites there would be. I told her I was afraid that after they brought the last piece of sushi, I'd want more. So much more. All to which she gently replied, you CAN have more.

And I remembered she was right. There's always more. There's always enough. I spend my career reminding clients, friends and strangers at dinner parties that there is plenty. That it's normal to eat a meal served by somebody else and realize that it isn't enough for you. But the trick is to thoroughly enjoy what has been provided, first. The key is to be able to engage with your surroundings with ease, as food is one part of the eating experience. The point is to slow down. I still work on this everyday.

The minute I think to myself Wow, Erica Jacobs! You are officially cured and recovered in your relationship with food and body. Well done. You're the brightest, most evolved human being in your field, the Universe says, Don't get cocky. And it sends me to places like SugarFish to remind me that I, as an eater, am a work in progress. That my relationship with food is always evolving. That above all else, I am to be trusted with food. That my hunger is to be trusted and honored. That my body knows what it's doing and I am to let it do its job.

Trust is a very big word, built in very small moments. Trust is built each time we sit down to a meal. Trust is manifested when we allow others to feed us. And trust is nurtured when we keep showing up to the table, ready to take slow, present and thoroughly enjoyable bites. This can happen at Chick-fil-a, it can happen at your kitchen table and obviously, it can happen at the trendiest sushi restaurant on a normal, no-particular day in August. Trust me.

I AM: Part One

Dear friends, Here's the thing-- for the last eighteen months, I've been doing all the work on this blog. I'm not complaining! Believe me, allowing my heart and soul to explode out of my fingertips, onto my screen and into your retina is a blessing. Like, pressing PUBLISH is one of my favorite things ever. In the interest of fun and always being willing to try new things, sometimes, kinda, normally not-so-much, however, I've decided to break up the routine of writing at you and take an opportunity to write with you. TOGETHERNESS! FUN! RIGHT?! YEAH!

Okay so, here's what we're doing this week; I have written a poem entitled, "I Am". I'm going to post my completed work below as an example. I challenge you fill in your own blanks, starting each line with "I Am" and follow these simple steps:

1) Copy & Paste template (list) into a word doc or into the NOTES on your phone

2) Complete your own "I Am" poem--you may add adjectives if you wish, but keep each line just to a short sentence

Add a pic of yourself, draw a picture, whatever!

3) Email it to me (if you'd like--I'd LOVE to read them!!) * EJacobsCoach@gmail.com

4) Read it aloud to yourself, your house plant, husband, wife, dog, Yoga Teacher, each day for the rest of the week

Next week, we will do Part Two of this exercise! It's a good one ;-)

HAPPY WRITING!

"I am" by, Erica Jacobs

I am Ruby red like Dorothy’s slippers

I am a big circle

I am a headstand

I am a round of applause

I am an elephant

I am three

I am Hard Sun, by Eddie Vedder

I am a cherished vintage VW bus; impossible to forget

I am a Boyfriend Pillow

I am sushi

I am a microphone

I am a day at the circus

I am earth

I am an Evergreen; constant and fun to decorate

**YOUR TURN**

 "I am" by,

What Color

What Shape

What Movement

What Sound

What Animal

What Number

What Song

What Car

What Piece of Furniture

What Food

What Musical Instrument

What Place

What Element in Nature

What Kind of Tree

*Can't wait to see what you write for yourself*