when all your white friends can talk about are the riots

I received a text today from a dear white friend, very concerned about the riots. Let’s just jump in to it!

Here is my response, as a white woman who has been on an Antiracism journey for the last 11 months…

“We are not being asked to justify horrendous acts of violence on the streets. 

We are not being asked to sit idly by as horses are killed and shop owners are physically and mentally destroyed.

We are not being asked to weigh in on how much is too much and we are not being asked to predict the outcome.

We are being asked to turn our eyes and ears to Black voices. 

We are being asked to stay focused and vigilant about unpacking hundreds of years of internalized racism. 

We are being asked to declare out loud that Black lives matter and we won’t back down from our own internal AND external work until all systems of oppression come all the way down, and Black lives matter to this country, it’s people and the globe. 

We cannot do this when the media keeps distracting us with footage of riots. 

I know, I know this has become a blood bath. I know that innocent (meaning non-directly antagonistic) people are being mamed and destroyed on many levels. 

I know that many of the looters are instigators and agitators who have no real eye for the movement. I also know that many of them are Black folks.

We have never been here before. Black lives mattering has never happened in the history of this country. 

We don’t know what it would look like if it did. 

I have listened to and spoken with so many Black folks not just in the last few days but in the last year and they have asked me to stay focused.

They have asked me to look the other way on the riots and mind my own business and refrain from forming my own opinion on whether the riots are right or wrong; that such thoughts are distracting and inherently racist.

They have asked me to put my body on the line for them and they have asked me to listen. 

There are many Black folks who are vehemently against the protests and riots. As they have every right to be. The same is true for Black folks who desperately want to see this toxic thing burn to the ground by any means necessary.

That is a discussion for the Black community. Not for us.

I know this stance is divisive and the whole thing is truly unfathomable..but so is the idea that Black lives matter. 

As a white women, I’ve never been required to listen to Black people. To take their words to heart in a personal feet-to-the-ground way. By looking the other way on the riots and instead staying focused on antiracism work, I am correcting my habit of only listening to white people. 

I invite you to not take sides on the riots and instead start reading books by Black authors and listening to Black owned podcasts and paying Black women to educate us, and I’ll keep doing the same!

Action Item:

If you want to SUPPORT BIRTH EQUITY AND BLACK OWNED BUSINESSES: DO THIS: URGENT SUPPORT NEEDED: Roots Community Birth Center in Minneapolis, owned by black midwife Rebecca Polston, is in need of urgent support. Rebecca was forced to abandon her birth center due to the protest and fires near her business. Funds are needed to purchase hotel suites for clinic, delivery and postpartum support. There are only seven black-owned birth centers in the United States, please help keep this one open.

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MAKE A CASH DONATION: Venmo @projectmotherpath

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#amplifymelanatedvoices #supportblackbusiness #blackwomenbusinessowners

Repost @myfounderstory

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner! (Hint: White Supremacy)

In the previous post, I shared about my first ever Anti-Racism event, “Let it Start with Me: Anti-Racism + Yoga Workshop” led by my Anti-Racism Coach, Tina Strawn.

In this post, I’d like to share my second Anti-Racism event I organized and was a part of!

Since Tina was in LA for a couple of weeks, I wanted to make sure to spend time with her AND I really wanted to introduce her to some of my friends, as she has become such a significant person in my life.

Tina and I discussed doing a MLK inspired dinner, where we’d gather a group, eat and discuss King’s Letter From a Birmingham Jail.

As a white woman, raised colorblind, believing we are all the same and, of course, “not racist”, I thought it a great idea to invite Tina to have a meal with my white friends.  And I assumed that since my best friend’s parents happily opened their home to a party of twelve and offered to cook for the occasion, that this was evidence of the important people in my life taking a first step on an Anti-Racism journey. 

I would soon see this is not the case.

Martin Luther King with a side of Pallela is not Anti-Racism work.

Tina brought her two cousins, and I invited one of my Black friends, making four Black people and eight white people. And when four Black people walked into a kitchen of eight white people, it became clear what Tina and so many Black people mean by predominantly white spaces not being safe.

A distinct tension fills room, a tension that sounds like a very high pitched “hi! hello! nice to meet you!” I could now see how us white people want so badly to ignore race and play it cool. But we’re not cool. We’re awkward and confronted and, turns out, we’re not fooling anyone.

After we finished eating, it felt like a good time to pass out copies of MLK’s Letter From a Birmingham Jail and start a discussion.

It’s important to note, many of the quotes and memes posted on social media on MLK day come from this particular letter, except King’s words are misrepresented in a way that elevates “good white people” and negates what Dr. King is saying— which is, that good, white, non-racist people are more dangerous than the KKK.

This is what we discussed at dinner, and this is where whiteness is thrust into the spotlight.

Whiteness looks like an emotional reaction to talking about racism and imagining what it must have been like for Black people in the past, because after all, racism is a past mistake. 

Whiteness sounds like, “I know I’m not doing anything to perpetuate racism but I’m not doing anything to help. Where should I start?”

Or

“I can’t believe people online can be so mean and racist. I would never say things like that.”

Or

“I just can’t believe this is over the color of our skin. We’re all the same!”

Whiteness also shows up at events where good white people feel they’ve done a great deed by coming to events that center Black history, but take no further action afterward. 

These are examples of how whiteness showed up at dinner. 

Whiteness, however well intended, has a draining and dehumanizing effect on BIPOC. White people crying about racism asserts the white supremacist power dynamic; one where we are fragile and sorry and ashamed and confronted, leaving no room for Black people to be truly heard, and no room for anti-racist inspired action because we’re too busy crying. 

I acknowledged this was the first time almost all the white people at the table had ever engaged in a discussion about race, racism and white supremacy. 

I acknowledged that I too was a white woman living thirty-two years convinced I’m not part of the problem, that my warm heart and spiritual practices exempt me from considering the impact my whiteness has on Black, Indigenous people of color.

I learned that this was not a safe space for the four Black people at the table and I believed Tina’s cousin when he shared that talking to white people is typically very draining.

I have been on an Anti-Racism journey for the last seven months, working with an Anti-Racism Coach and learning how to dismantle systemic racism and white supremacy by looking at the ways I personally uphold them as a white woman. 

While there are many ways to start on an Anti-Racism journey, the book “White Fragility” was a key resource for me, as it gave me a new and necessary vocabulary for what it really means to be white. This book alone is not indicative of Anti-Racism work but it’s a very helpful start. 

Both Coach Tina, as well as every book I’ve read, podcast I listen to and every Black mentor I follow on social media insist us white people are going to fuck up and make mistakes on this path— something I dread because I never want to let anyone down or hurt people of color, but I have made a lifelong commitment to divest from whiteness and show up for BIPOC in real, helpful and even risky ways. 

At the end of the day, I’d rather make mistakes on an Anti-Racism path than continue being harmful on a not-racist path. 

A Huge Mistake I Made at an Anti-Racism Workshop

Last month I organized a workshop Led by my Anti-Racism Coach, Tina Strawn.

The workshop itself went very well! Tina has developed a unique and very necessary opportunity for white women to look at our role in systemic racism and white supremacy through the lens of Yogic philosophy. 

I need to tell you about the days leading up to the workshop and where I, as a white woman, made some huge mistakes, which in turn harmed Tina and the work she and BIPOC share with the world.

I started talking about and advertising this workshop four weeks prior— posting about it on my social media platforms, and sharing in person with friends and Yoga students. 

I knew this event wasn’t going to spark the same level of excitement as a spiritual retreat in Costa Rica or a Tupperware party, but I thought at the very least ten people in my life were open, willing and ready to step into a space of self-reflection.

When Tina told me three people signed up a week before the workshop, I was elated and felt even more hopeful more would join. 

Not to mention, my white friend and yoga student had offered up her home to host the workshop and she was going to be in attendance, too.

During this time, my posts and ongoing conversations, upheld the importance of this work and maintained an honest, unmistakable description of the subject matter

...that is, until I panicked.

Two days before the workshop, two things happened:

1. My friend and host of the workshop broke her pelvis in a horse accident but still offered up her home.

2. Two out of the three people canceled, and since the ticket was non-refundable, I thought it a good idea to donate those two tickets for anyone who’d want to come.

I got desperate.

Not thinking about Tina’s feelings or the impact offering free tickets to this type of event would have, I scrambled to text people and even announced on social media (in BIG, OBNOXIOUS text) that I had two free tickets available and that if your weekend plans fell through, to come to an Anti-Racism & Yoga workshop because, after all, it’s free.

I also did not consider that offering tickets for free allowed for a lesser amount of accountability (or none at all)  from white people in anti-racism. 

This also gave problematic, resistant, argumentative and overtly racist people free access to a space that must be safe for Tina as a Black woman.

I also realized that offering the workshop for free suggests that money is the barrier to such a workshop when the real barrier is disinterest and apathy.

One of my “catchy” posts the day of the Anti-Racism workshop read: “Sunday plans fall through? Birthday party get canceled? Great! Come to an Anti-Racism & Yoga workshop this afternoon!”

I ignored what I’ve come to learn, which is that Anti-Racism is not something you do when plans fall through, you’re bored or need a way to fill your time. As a result of desperation, panic and just bad marketing, I put Tina in a compromised position and centered my needs over her safety. 

Even though the workshop itself went well, my marketing desperation is an example of devaluing Anti-Racism work and causing harm to people of color, particularly Black women who lead conversations with white people on race, power and privilege.

that endless skyway...that golden valley

remember,

a country is only a country

because a person said so.

i do not put it past us

we stole this land from Native Americans

for that is who we are;

we see it

we like it

we have to have it.

we do not apologize well

and humility takes a backseat to pride

all the time.

it is silly, stressful and dangerous to put

one person in charge of a people

and God does not bless America any more than he blesses the U.K. or China

because God doesn’t know what a country is

because he is bigger and wiser and more mysterious than having our back on gun violence.

there has been legal slavery

now we have illegal slavery.

we do not harvest

we do not conserve.

we do not care about the earth

and we want our white women to have more babies.

we set white rapists free

and lock up black men for weed.

we pledge allegiance to our country

before we even know what Allegiance means

and we stop pledging just in time for puberty 

where we learn all kinds of ways to live apart from each other.

we have duct taped the mouths of our most intelligent brothers and sisters

and slipped under many a radar.

we have crashed and burned

and deflected the pain of our own doing

by blaming a God of our own understanding.

we are addicts

we are bullies

we are insatiable.

and...

i still believe this land was made

for you and me,

because, well,

you and me are here.

i believe amendments

commandments

pledges

declarations

and proclamations

were written when we were in our right mind, that one time;

when we were certain there is enough love to go around,

when we could taste each other's residency in the same Kingdom and we never wanted to live apart. 

This has to be true;

i know that it's true

because...

you gather a diverse room of 55

people and start singing “this land is your land”

everyone will sing with you.

(it happened yesterday when i taught yoga).

and that Pledge of Allegiance,

it’s a really beautiful pledge—

one i may start saying each day

because I have tasted the consequences of not.

dear yogi: a letter from your teacher

Dear Yogi,

Here are some things I’d like you to know…

Your presence in my class means everything to me, because i know how hard it can be to get out of bed.

 I know the risk you take in getting into your car to come here.

 I know how testing it can be, to sweat and breathe in such close proximity to people who are different than you. You are a brave example of the Universe only knowing how to move in one direction...forward.

 These last 1,000 yoga classes have stretched, tested and expanded me in ways only silence, a wink and maybe a slight nod in your direction could explain. 

None of it is perfect and I’ve stumbled through seasons of wondering if it’s even worth it, if my efforts have been futile, if it’s time to roll up my mat and move on. Though I am grateful not to be in such a season today, 1,000 classes rendered feels like a great time for me to re-articulate my love for you, re-dedicate myself to this craft, and reclaim promises I never made but should have…

•   I re-commit to my role as a Yoga Teacher and facilitator; a “professional friend” who exercises safety and practicality before creativity. I promise to sequence intelligently and stay open to change.

•  I will hold fast to the truth that Yoga was invented by people of a different skin color, life experience and view of the world than me. This ancient and sacred practice was never intended to be presented in physical form, shown off for the internet or profited from for personal gain. There will always be a dark side to the ways in which we put food on our table, but I will honor this practice for what it is and where it came from to the best of my ability. 

Further, I will be mindful of cultural appropriation and continue t be a student and advocate of diversity on and off my mat and ESPECIALLY in my classroom.

•  I will see myself in you, especially when I feel annoyed, frustrated or angry. I will be patient and kind and promptly make amends if I demonstrate anything on the contrary. 

•  Lastly, I will love you. I will love you as I love myself, as I am loved by God.

 Each time I step into the yoga room, I have a new opportunity to create a habitat for acceptance and a terrain for taking healthy risks. I know what I have, and I am grateful and damn proud. 

Andrea Gibson wrote,

“...i intend to leave this place so shattered, there will have to be a thousand heavens for all my flying parts”.

Every yoga class I teach is one of those heavens—

YOU, are one of a thousand heavens for my flying parts. 

 Friend, no matter what, remember that I want to be here. I want to teach you yoga. I want to do this work; for this work is simply my love, made visible. 

 May grace and peace be with you and me and everyone else for the next thousand classes!

Love, 

Erica