Up until 3 years ago, and since age eleven, my New Years resolutions had always been the same: lose weight, change my personality (no, seriously) be an actress, --and my personal favorite--get a boyfriend. It's okay. You can laugh. I am.
I didn't realize it right away, but as I addressed, worked through and eventually healed my dysfunctional, abusive and totally irritating relationship with food and my body 3 years ago, I stopped making New Years resolutions. I felt that if I didn't have a goal or make a promise to lose weight, "get" a boyfriend or change who I am entirely, then what was the point? My whole life had been strictly governed by food for so long that when it wasn't, when I'd now be eating the exact same way and the exact same foods on January 1st, as I did on December 31st, I didn't see a point in resolving or promising to do anything. So, I put the whole concept of resolutions on a high shelf that I couldn't reach (because I'm only 5ft) and just let January 1st be synonymous with any other day.
But that didn't feel right, either...
I've done a lot of work on myself in 2015, folks. And most of that work has been finding the balance and the line between what is self-improvement and self-indulgence. Turns out, it's a fine line...even for a "Wellness Professional." But the other work I've done this year is explore the importance of making decisions based only on my values, as opposed to making decisions based on goals. This has been an enormous game-changer, both personally and professionally and has made SO much sense out of my trip to India, earlier this year. #Finally.
So, rather than come up with resolutions for the future, I'd like to do the ultimate "yoga thing" and honor what I already know, what I've already learned, what I already do...and just. stay. present. So...here are eight values I'm taking with me into 2016...
creativity:
This year, creativity has taken a lot of forms for me, mostly in the realm of creative writing (like here and here) and, well, coloring my skin. With ink. Permanently. A.k.a my first tattoos.
I've also seen how much creativity and out-the-box thinking goes into the conversations we have, the ways we move our body and the ways in which we address conflict. Things like Assertiveness, loyalty, honesty and vulnerability take an awful lot of creativity in relationships. So, I'll just go ahead and take all the colorful, creative pieces that make up my relationship to myself and the world around me, into this next year.
Elementary school we visited in Rajasthan, India
humility
Whatever. I'm calling my entire trip to India this year one GIANT lesson in humility. I went to that country with the expectation of being given all the magical answers to my life and my future and I'm proud to say India gave me none of those things. Thank God. This year, I learned the most about Humility here, here, here, and here.
humor
While I've always loved to laugh, finding the humor in things isn't always easy for me...especially when it comes to matters of the heart and things that really bother me...like the sound of people chewing.
I've actually laughed quite a bit, this year. Sometimes inappropriately. But I found my High School Reunion particularly hilarious, and you can read it here, and here.
commitment
Commitment has been huge for me, since recognizing it as a core value of mine. When my Dad passed away, almost nine years ago, I lost a lot of my sense for honoring my word and following through with plans, in a very general sense. This year I made a conscious effort to not only honor the commitments I made, but NOT commit to things, if I wasn't entirely sure I could show up.
I wrote a bit about that here.
curiosity
This year, curiosity has yielded several books, including and especially, Big Magic by, Elizabeth Gilbert. Thanks to that book, curiosity has taken on a whole new meaning for me. If you haven't read it yet, I HIGHLY suggest you do so.
Being no stranger to therapy itself, but curious about having a different experience in it, I hired my first male therapist this year, which I wrote about here. I've learned a lot about myself, particularly myself with men. I'm not usually into "self-help" books, but at the request of my shrink, I read this book, and it changed my entire life. Seriously. (Ps, it's a TERRIBLE title, for what its actually about...but, whether you're in a relationship, out of one, or want to be in one (like me), don't let the title turn you away. Just read it. You're welcome.
sharing
Wow. Sharing. Yea, so, I'm an only child and it's become remarkably clear in my adult life just how difficult it is (deep down) for me to share stuff. In fact, I should probably blog about how being in the Essential Oil business has taught me/ REQUIRED me to share my things. Remind me to do that.
This year, I really took a step back and funneled my blog and my business in a clearer direction. It's been quite a journey reevaluating what I actually share on here, and WHY. WHO am I writing for? WHAT do I actually want them to know? I've shared some pretty personal and vulnerable stuff, and now it's clear there is a difference between a blog and a journal. Let's just say, I'm happy to be a blogger, and I'm so pleasantly surprised at all the feedback over this last year about how some of my posts really resonated with you.
tidiness
This year, at the direction of my BFF, I read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. If you haven't read it, I recommend you do...but PLEASE...DO NOT empty out your entire house without actually reading the book. K? Thanks!
Here was my experience with getting rid of half my house, pretty much, and why I now only have things in my possession that "Spark Joy". Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six.
And lastly...
leadership
Oh Boy! What can I even say about my lessons in leadership without bawling my eyes out?! Honestly, without consciously holding leadership in high value, my other values suffer. From transitioning to working from home and being self-employed, to owning my responsibility in my relationships, educating people how to use essential oils, staying curious about my relationship with men, keeping my home tidy, and teaching Yoga...I've seen just how vital leadership is, not just for me, but for everyone I'm in relationship with. Essentially, I wrote about my experience with leadership in a Multi-Level-Marketing company here. But I'm curious...where are YOU already a leader in your life?
Perhaps this post will come across a bit self-indulgent, as I'm only referring to myself and my values...but my point is this: If we replace resolutions with values, we may find so much more power in realizing everything we are and everything we want to be is already here. Resolutions often last several weeks, but values last a lifetime. I mean...what do YOU think? What are YOUR values?
*Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for hanging out with me here, this year. I am so inspired by your readership, your feedback and your friendship. This blog is one of my best friends and I am so thankful I can share it so freely with you. I truly, truly value YOU.
Here's to a great year ahead! Happy New Year!